Brittany. There's so much to say about you. I can't remember perfectly back into Grade 5 and 6, but what I remember are good memories of you. I miss you terribly and I still feel like an idiot. There's this one scene that keeps playing over and over in my head. My blood sugar was low at the park, it was summer. And my dad had Jenny outside, and he forgot to keep track of time. So I went to your house, and you gave me oreos. And I sat on that chair in your kitchen and called my dad, on your red phone that reminds me of a fire engine now. I'm not sure why. You were an amazing friend, you never talked about me. You were nice and you let me come over and we used your art supplies, you were amazing at art. And we went on your computer, and you made my my first hotmail account, I never forgot. You always told me not to bump the scanner, because it was really sensitive. You got upset when I did, so I always tried not to. This one time at your house, I'm not sure if you remember, but we ate a whole bunch of chips, and then you threw up, because junk food made you sick. It didn't make me sick, but god, maybe it should've. I still remember when your horse tried to jump over the poop pail, and he tripped and you fell off. It was cold in the stable, but it was fun watching you. It was interesting. God, you loved horses so much, I never did. That's the one thing we didn't share. But we still were such good friends back then. We walked Nika and Lucky all the time. Remember when you told me her name meant "friend" in inuit? And playing those silly math games on your computer?
You always had the coolest food too, it was good. I'd look forward to coming to your house. And then there was Sapreet. And, me, the idiot. And how that one day changed everything, how you were crying, and you asked me, in the saddest voice ever, "Rachel...did you just pretend to be my friend all along?". And I said yes. I said yes, and I hate myself for it. And you looked so sad.
I had just broken your heart, but I didn't know that later on I'd have broken my own. I miss you so much. I miss our fun afternoons and the times at the park and everything. Now, the new me wouldn't have cared if you were slightly on the nerdy side. She wouldn't have minded when the popular kids didn't want her to be around you, and would have stuck by you. And wouldn't have been swayed by them. I wish I knew that then. And the more I think about it, the more I miss you. I think you moved out of Edmonton. I tried adding your old email a long time ago, but it didn't work. In short, I wish we were friends again. That day, I lost an amazing person, and I was too stupid to notice. Maybe I'm going to pay for it now...