:'(

The same song line is playing in my head over and over:

Rather give the world away, than wake up lonely.
Rather give the world away, than wake up lonely.
Rather give the world away, than wake up lonely.......

Does everyone in our stupid society have such a terrible fear of abandonment that they cannot live without other people? I think so. Fears of abandonment, however, come in varying degrees. I am so scared to lose him that I think I am worrying way too much and trying to hold on tighter than I should.

Someone once made an analogy about a butterfly.
It's like love, or like, in this case I suppose. If you let it have too much freedom, it flies off, if you hold it too tight, you crush it. I am so terrible at comfortable mediums.

Am I screwed for the rest of my life?
No, am I really.....?
Fuck, I probably shouldn't have drank that much, or smoked that much weed last night.
I feel so....foggy....

This Weekend

So, this weekend was really awesome.
Jeff and I and some of his coworkers got together and drank and yeah, it was probably the best drunken experience of my life.
No makeout sessions.
No crying sessions.
No hangover.
No puking.
and, not much sleep.

Therefore, I declare this weekend a success.
:)