ugh.

Normally I don't write such angsty little directionless rants, but I'm mad, and I'm depressed, and I'm annoyed too, which makes for someone/something not so very happy.
It's really interesting when your entire life is going pretty darn good minus a few little things, and then something comes up, and fucks it up, and it's your fault. It's my fault for liking this person. I let myself do it, and now I'm depressed because I won't do anything pertaining to making a move or such nonsense, therefore I get to accept they don't feel the same and move on. Accept they don't feel the same, and move on. Accept they don't feel the same, and move on. What a disgusting, shitty little sentence. So why does it keep popping up? Oh right, because it keeps happening. Over, and over, and then over again. For some reason, I must have really horrible taste in people, as they just never seem to like me back. I am not honestly that bad of a person. I've fixed my negativity. I'm not hideous. I'm smart. I can listen, and I can talk, and I can be funny too, sometimes in multiple ways. So honestly, what the fuck? I am sick of this. Oh wait, that's a fucking understatement. I am sick of it happening not once, or twice, but over and over again. And because I'm so sick of it, I end up settling for less, which is also my fault, and then I get treated like shit. And then it gets worse, and I feel worse about myself, and I am back on the same stupid low-self esteem rollercoaster, and then it repeats. Some stupid 18 visions song is repeating in my head now--- obsession/desire/depression. Obsession/desire/depression. They never wanted me.... Sounds familiar, does it not? I am so goddamn sick of being stuck in this depressive black hole. And I am so sick of not being able to/just not doing anything about it. I keep forgetting my meds too, which is double not cool, because then the mood swings just get worse. Anyway, i'm going to write this, and no one important is going to read it,but I'm STILL waiting for the day when the smart girl beats the pretty girl. I better sit back and put my feet up.
Oh yeah, and maybe make a goddamn latte.